Wives and Common Sense

[nathajw]

Let's share some classic or recent stories of our loved ones.

We're moving to a new house just 10 min from our old this weekend and DFW just got hit with freezing rain last night. Both our vehicles were left in the driveway due to a full garage of boxes. My wife is an early early riser and got up at her usual 5 am to go get another load of some stuff she just "really needed" and she took my truck. I get up this morning and go into the garage to see boxes that were pushed aside and my truck sitting in a lake of water.

"oh wow, it was just really cold outside and I didn't want to unload in the wind"

She went and got 6 boxes that would have taken less than 3 minutes to bring from the truck to the garage.

(women, feel free to join in with stories about us Neanderthals)

 

[1981grad]

Last weekend I counted 77 throw pillows in our home. I hate to imagine how much money was spent on them.

 

[1981grad]

I have 6 daughters, after counting the throw pillows, I decided to count pairs of shoes. We are the proud owners of 137 pairs of shoes.

 

[TheRedSon]

Yeah, I’m not touching this one.

 

[SquinkY5786]

Last weekend I counted 77 throw pillows in our home. I hate to imagine how much money was spent on them.

And it’s like you can’t move them to sit down. I effing have throw pillows.

 

[SquinkY5786]

My wife took it upon herself to move furniture on new wood floors. The furniture had the small metal rollers . Well to get it to fit through a door she tipped it on its side and pulled it through. It made about a foot long engraving in the wood floor. She then decided to take the brown crayon and color it in hoping I wouldn’t notice. Now in order to stain the etch I have to somehow clean out the crayon.

 

[Pokes15]

I have 6 daughters, after counting the throw pillows, I decided to count pairs of shoes. We are the proud owners of 137 pairs of shoes.

Holy hell, 6 daughters!?!? I have three under the age of 6 and I am not sure what the hell I am going to do once the teenage years set in...

 

[Been Jammin]

My wife took it upon herself to move furniture on new wood floors. The furniture had the small metal rollers . Well to get it to fit through a door she tipped it on its side and pulled it through. It made about a foot long engraving in the wood floor. She then decided to take the brown crayon and color it in hoping I wouldn’t notice. Now in order to stain the etch I have to somehow clean out the crayon.

Literally LOL ed.

 

[Been Jammin]

And it’s like you can’t move them to sit down. I effing have throw pillows.

Same issue at my house, every effing chair and couch has little pillows on it. Wife complains if I sit down and “mess them up”. If I try to straighten them when I get up, I apparently always do it wrong.

 

[agentorange84]

With all the Christmas crap sitting around on tables I don’t have anywhere to put my drink!

 

[xplor58]

Holy hell, 6 daughters!?!? I have three under the age of 6 and I am not sure what the hell I am going to do once the teenage years set in...

I think you may have to get a large lockable closet for there teenage years. Not sure if the closet is for then or for you!

 

[Air_Thurman]

My wife has the pillow sickness also. We have a huge sectional but there is only room for like two people to sit because of the 20 pillows. She also has like 40 throws (that is what she calls them. I think they are blankets).

 

[nathajw]

I have 6 daughters

So what are you staring at for a realistic retirement age? 75?

 

[1981grad]

So what are you staring at for a realistic retirement age? 75?

Looks like 65 for me. I told them I would put them thru school, but they need to have very simple weddings. I'm sure I will cave in on that one as I already have on two of them.

 

[nathajw]

Looks like 65 for me. I told them I would put them thru school, but they need to have very simple weddings. I'm sure I will cave in on that one as I already have on two of them.

My dad would always bitch that if he had 3 sons instead of one and 2 daughters he would have "retired a damn decade ago." I couldn't pry the man's wallet open with a crowbar but my sisters had him wrapped around their fingers.

 

[squeak]

My dad would always bitch that if he had 3 sons instead of one and 2 daughters he would have "retired a damn decade ago." I couldn't pry the man's wallet open with a crowbar but my sisters had him wrapped around their fingers.

I’m not sure there is a more important relationship than one between a father and daughter.

 

[nathajw]

I’m not sure there is a more important relationship than one between a father and daughter.

I have three sons but I've already told my wife she'll have to finally take the disciplinarian duties from me if we ever have a daughter. I'd be a doormat, completely powerless.

 

[Rulz]

My wife called me one day after we recently got our car out of the shop. She was screaming....hysterical...crying even. She demanded I take the car back to the shop and make them....

Put the steering wheel back on correctly.

I told her, ever so calmly...."would you please turn the wheel while pulling forward and stop when the car goes in a strait line, then tell me which way the little symbol is facing..."

After seeing that she was an idiot, she hung up on me.

 

[Cowpoke]

My wife called me one day after we recently got our car out of the shop. She was screaming....hysterical...crying even. She demanded I take the car back to the shop and make them....

Put the steering wheel back on correctly.

I told her, ever so calmly...."would you please turn the wheel while pulling forward and stop when the car goes in a strait line, then tell me which way the little symbol is facing..."

After seeing that she was an idiot, she hung up on me.