Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors?

[hollywood]

Because if they had 4, then they would be chicken sedans!


Looking for "dad" jokes, what's on your go-to list?

 

[Winston Havelock]

Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom?

Because the p is silent

 

[GratefulDave]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?












A carrot.

 

[ells2090]

What kind of bees make milk?

Boobies

 

[ells2090]

I could tell my 5 year old daughter this knock knock joke all day...

Me: Knock knock
Her: Who's there?
Me: Interrupting squawking parrot
Her: Interrupting squawk-----
Me: SQUAWK!!!

My 3 year old doesn't quite have the timing down yet and immediately yells squawk after saying parrot

 

[xplor58]

Here are two that my grandfather told me a lllloooooonnnnngggg time ago. I thought they were so dang funny when I was a kid.

1. What do you have when you have 12 ducks in a box?


A box of quackers!

2. What happens when a duck flies upside down?

He quacks up!

 

[gipraw]

Two potatoes are standing on a street corner.

How do you tell which one is the prostitute?

It's the one with the sticker that says Idaho.

 

[osutater]

Did you know Diahrea is hereditary?

It runs in your genes.

 

[Pokes15]

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear

 

[Cowpoke]

I could tell my 5 year old daughter this knock knock joke all day...

Me: Knock knock
Her: Who's there?
Me: Interrupting squawking parrot
Her: Interrupting squawk-----
Me: SQUAWK!!!

My 3 year old doesn't quite have the timing down yet and immediately yells squawk after saying parrot

My GF's kids couldn't tell a knock knock joke until they hit puberty it seemed. Years of..

Kid: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Kid: ORANGE! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

 

[anon_xl72qcu5isp39]

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: Why must she constantly have her motives questioned?

 

[osuengineer]

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff...
...
*Baa-tum-ssssss*

 

[osuengineer]

Why should you never play cards with African big cats?
If they're not lion, they're a cheetah

 

[Cowguy]

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl? They're all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles.

 

[3Gamma]

What did the fish say when it bumped into a wall?

Dam

 

[displacedpoke]

Not a joke but the "ya know what?"............"what?".................."Chicken Butt", is big in our house.