Imagine if Both Your Parents Were Hard-Left Democrats

OKSTATE1

MegaPoke is insane
May 29, 2001
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March 28, 2022

Imagine if Both Your Parents Were Hard-Left Democrats​

By Pete McArdle

Let's face it: life is difficult for everyone. You gotta take the sweet with the sour, and roll with the punches. But who faces a more frightening future than the progeny of your typical loony liberal couple?

Start with the word "couple." Certainly, that's considered a microaggression somewhere. Democrats have done a great job destroying the concepts of marriage, family, and personal responsibility. So you may grow up with two parents, or one, or none, or even a gay secretary of transportation out on extended leave during a supply-chain crisis as your daddy. Who knows?

But let's make our imaginary Democrat couple a man and a woman for simplicity's sake. They've had sex, after signing the necessary consent forms, and conception has occurred.

Now you are a zygote, the tiniest human possible, just hanging around (literally) in your liberal mother's womb. In today's shout-your-abortion Democrat party, Mom or Dad may be seriously thinking about terminating you. You just may be a major inconvenience to them and have to go bye-bye.

So, you start your life worrying that your liberal parents may want to kill you — and not just in California or New York. Thanks to Doe v. Bolton, the companion Supreme Court decision to Roe v. Wade, you'll have to worry the entire nine months of gestation, up to and including the birth process, since it's legal in every state to off fully formed babies, even newborns as they exit the womb.

But let's say you're one of the lucky ones, and you're spared the abortionist's tender mercies. Now the liberal dunderheads who spawned you saddle you with some idiotic name, like Kayden, Macy, Apple, or Zarathustra. And before you're even walking or talking, your parents leave you alone with a total stranger because Mommy and Daddy both work. Staunch Democrats, as we know, hate stay-at-home moms (and dads). They'd prefer you miss out on one of life's purest pleasures: growing up with a dedicated parent as your primary caregiver.

Let's assume that the stranger your lib parents chose doesn't do anything horrible to you. You've survived the first couple of years, and as a bonus, you're bilingual.

The next thing you know, your folks are dumping you off at daycare, where you have to deal with another set of complete strangers. And if these strangers are as perverse as your left-wing parents, they'll be busy indoctrinating you into modern liberalism, especially the idea that you can be any of the 5,782 (at last count) genders you want. For the foreseeable future, you'll be taught that you may be gay or transgender or who knows what else. Life is typically confusing for a young child, and after enough liberal grooming, you'll be even more confused about your sex and gender, your obvious physical characteristics notwithstanding. And radical Democrats like it that way.

But it gets worse. Soon you'll likely be enrolled in a public school, the vast majority controlled by the Alinsky-loving, Democrat-supporting teachers' unions. In such schools, you won't learn proper grammar or how to figure out equations or how to think critically.

No, in today's public schools, what you'll learn is that if you're a minority, you're being oppressed, and if you're white, you're the oppressor, and you'd better check your privilege. While you'll leave these schools oblivious as to how to define pronouns or use them correctly, you will have learned, having been taught all the 5,782 gender options, your own "personal pronouns" (major dude/mine/your majesty in my case).

As you continue to grow into adulthood, happy your Democrat parents didn't abort you, unsure whether you're a boy or a girl, and quite sure you're either a victim or a perpetrator of racism, the liberal indoctrination intensifies. While you still can't figure out the interest on a loan or how to write in complete sentences, you'll learn how to hate this country and its founding. You'll learn just how awful and patriarchal men are and always have been. You'll discover that criminals are actually the victims, victims somehow had it coming, and cops are in fact the bad guys. Your liberal teachers will teach you this crap, and your parents will confirm it.

And if you somehow make it to high school without a psychiatric diagnosis and some combination of psychotropic drugs to take daily, what you learn about the horrors of — gasp! — climate change will push you right over the edge. With your teachers, parents, and left-leaning relatives and acquaintances, you'll be thoroughly convinced the sky is falling and the end is nigh. Why live in such a world?

You'd better not ask an avid Democrat that question. They're rather fond of assisted suicide.

When you're forty or so, and it's finally time to leave your parents' basement and put your Postmodern Transgender Poetry degree to work, you'll go out into the world trusting one thing and one thing only.

No, not God, silly!

Government. Big Government.

Government is your friend, government programs are your savior, and whatever the mainstream media tell you of Big Brother's greatness is righteous and true. Besides, there is no God, only the Devil. And his name is Trump.

If the government tells you guns are bad, you'll never own one. If it tells you abortions are a sacred constitutional right, you'll probably agree to one or more. If meat's bad for the Earth, you'll eat bugs; if single homes are selfish, you'll live in a large, noisy project; if cars are killing the planet, you'll take the subway and hope you're not attacked with a hammer or worse.

You'll wear plaid pajamas and drink hot chocolate while discussing the sublime joys of Obamacare with your friends, and your mantra will be "so much to fear, so little time." Chances are, as a disciple of Dr. Fauci, you'll wear a surgical mask everywhere, just to be on the safe side.

Now, the kids of Republicans and conservatives will have a different life, as will the children of apolitical folks and reasonable Democrats, however rare that species may be. But if you're born to a pair of crazed, leftist wingnuts, may God help you. Because Big Government certainly won't.
 

Sunburnt Indian

Heisman Candidate
Nov 7, 2001
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Derailing somewhat.

My father of color went to his grave never letting me and my white yellow dog Democrat mother forget the mistakes we made voting for Carter. Carter is the last Democrat I ever voted for at any level.

First Assembly of God never opened their doors without my mother attending. It was Clinton who kept my mother from voting when Clinton ran for a second term. My mother could never vote Republican.
 

2012Bearcat

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Breastman

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Fun article.

Biggest pinko liberal couple I know had kids. One went on to be drum major and assistant band director at the University of Oklahoma. Terrible parenting.

Just kidding. Great people.

Know lots of great super conservative couples as well. What tickles me about the Bolde freedom couples is they tend to rip the whole concept of going to college (‘college is the biggest scam placed on American people’) and then they turn around and celebrate their daughter graduating college. Always get a chuckle out of that.
 

OKSTATE1

MegaPoke is insane
May 29, 2001
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Edmond, Oklahoma
I
Fun article.

Biggest pinko liberal couple I know had kids. One went on to be drum major and assistant band director at the University of Oklahoma. Terrible parenting.

Just kidding. Great people.

Know lots of great super conservative couples as well. What tickles me about the Bolde freedom couples is they tend to rip the whole concept of going to college (‘college is the biggest scam placed on American people’) and then they turn around and celebrate their daughter graduating college. Always get a chuckle out of that.
I thought it was funny as hell, but has to be laced with some truth in order to be funny.
 

SquatchinPoke

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Jul 1, 2021
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Derailing somewhat.

My father of color went to his grave never letting me and my white yellow dog Democrat mother forget the mistakes we made voting for Carter. Carter is the last Democrat I ever voted for at any level.

First Assembly of God never opened their doors without my mother attending. It was Clinton who kept my mother from voting when Clinton ran for a second term. My mother could never vote Republican.
My Grandfather was a Democrat also and Carter ****ed him while working for the government. My Family has never forgotten. I will say Brandon has out done that fellow Carter by a lot as far as suck goes.