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Fair warning....

CowboyJD

CowboyJD

MegaPoke is insane
Gold Member
Dec 13, 2002
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i’m gettin my first old man gets a camera shoved up his bowels test on Friday, so I’m on a clear liquid diet for the next 36 hours.

You should expect my posts to get progressively angrier, more shrill, and more aggressive during that period of time.

Apologies in advance.
 
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CowboyJD said:
i’m gettin my first old man gets a camera shoved up hos bowels test on Friday, so I’m on a clear liquid diet for the next 36 hours.

You should expect my posts to get progressively angrier, more shrill, and more aggressive during that period of time.

Apologies in advance.
Click to expand...
You'll come back a defeated man for a bit. We'll help you with the PTSD.
 
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Medic007 said:
Yeah, but you won't be able to remember what they did this time. You'll have a hole in your memory due to the wonders of midazolam. There will always be that "what if."
Click to expand...
zlQRKF.gif
 
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Sort of funny related story....
A doctor golfing friend of mine does my colonoscopies and I was told by the assistant to do all of the right things like drink the diesel fuel for 24 hours and don’t eat anything solid. I was somewhat diligent but didn’t drink all of the deisel fuel as required.

Next morning before the procedure he asks me if I drank all of the diesel fuel and I said I drank as much as I could stand.

After the procedure I ask how it went and he said that he noticed that I may not have cleared my intestinal track as much as I could have. I told him that he was paid enough to figure out what was a little crap and what were pollups. He managed to distinguish the two.

Point is, drink the toxic crap unless your doctor is a golfing buddy.
 
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N. Pappagiorgio said:
Sort of funny related story....
A doctor golfing friend of mine does my colonoscopies and I was told by the assistant to do all of the right things like drink the diesel fuel for 24 hours and don’t eat anything solid. I was somewhat diligent but didn’t drink all of the deisel fuel as required.

Next morning before the procedure he asks me if I drank all of the diesel fuel and I said I drank as much as I could stand.

After the procedure I ask how it went and he said that he noticed that I may not have cleared my intestinal track as much as I could have. I told him that he was paid enough to figure out what was a little crap and what were pollups. He managed to distinguish the two.

Point is, drink the toxic crap unless your doctor is a golfing buddy.
Click to expand...

and that’s why i read this board

the sheer volume of knowledge
 
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CowboyJD said:
i’m gettin my first old man gets a camera shoved up his bowels test on Friday, so I’m on a clear liquid diet for the next 36 hours.

You should expect my posts to get progressively angrier, more shrill, and more aggressive during that period of time.

Apologies in advance.
Click to expand...
Good for you buddy .. one piece of advice .. Do not wander too far away from the shitter
 
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CowboyJD said:
i’m gettin my first old man gets a camera shoved up his bowels test on Friday, so I’m on a clear liquid diet for the next 36 hours.

You should expect my posts to get progressively angrier, more shrill, and more aggressive during that period of time.

Apologies in advance.
Click to expand...
The prep work is much worse than the tubing. I've had 3 and hate drinking that bowel cleanser.

One word of caution. Don't do like my BIL and eat greasy fried chicken your first meal afterwards.
 
imprimis said:
The prep work is much worse than the tubing. I've had 3 and hate drinking that bowel cleanser.

One word of caution. Don't do like my BIL and eat greasy fried chicken your first meal afterwards.
Click to expand...


enchiladas much better choice
 
CowboyJD said:
i’m gettin my first old man gets a camera shoved up his bowels test on Friday, so I’m on a clear liquid diet for the next 36 hours.

You should expect my posts to get progressively angrier, more shrill, and more aggressive during that period of time.

Apologies in advance.
Click to expand...

It's really not that bad. The drink I had wasn't bad, it didn't create some volcano, it was 99, 98, no no, don't get up, just lay here for a second and I'll hand you your clothes, everything was fine. The layers of bills that came in was a little irritating though. The health insurance industry doesn't always subsidize preventive medicine.

N. Pappagiorgio said:
Sort of funny related story....
A doctor golfing friend of mine does my colonoscopies and I was told by the assistant to do all of the right things like drink the diesel fuel for 24 hours and don’t eat anything solid. I was somewhat diligent but didn’t drink all of the deisel fuel as required.

Next morning before the procedure he asks me if I drank all of the diesel fuel and I said I drank as much as I could stand.

After the procedure I ask how it went and he said that he noticed that I may not have cleared my intestinal track as much as I could have. I told him that he was paid enough to figure out what was a little crap and what were pollups. He managed to distinguish the two.

Point is, drink the toxic crap unless your doctor is a golfing buddy.
Click to expand...

Confirms that Nicky P's always full of shit.
 
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CowboyJD said:
i’m gettin my first old man gets a camera shoved up his bowels test on Friday, so I’m on a clear liquid diet for the next 36 hours.

You should expect my posts to get progressively angrier, more shrill, and more aggressive during that period of time.

Apologies in advance.
Click to expand...
A few points to remember:

1. Start out with a full roll of ass wipe. And have another roll handy. And don’t use the cheap store brand, get the good stuff. Comfort and strength are equally important in times like these.

2. Don’t use too much pressure when wiping. You’re going to be doing a lot of that. You can avoid chafing in this situation with proper awareness.

3. You’re over the target. You drop a load. Good for you. Now stay there; remain in the holding pattern. Enjoy the moment. Relax. Another explosion could be on its way in rapid succession. Be prepared for this. Adequate reading materials and a fully charged phone/iPad are a must.

4. @syskatine probably wants pictures. Don’t be an enabler.

Good luck. Don’t puss out. You can do this!
 
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Hopefully they do not perforate anything, it is a possibility. They do have 3D imaging for this procedure now and it is safer because of no risk of perforation, it is more expensive. That said, IF they see something in the 3D imaging they do not like, then you get the old fashioned scope.

The risk of perforation is small but it can be a serious problem. At BUMC the risk is 1 out of every 1750 colonoscopy. Maybe at a school like Baylor known for rape the risk is higher. Just informing you of risks and options. The drug they give you works well, you will not remember anything and procedure goes by fast.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4264696/
 
wyomingosualum said:
A few points to remember:

1. Start out with a full roll of ass wipe. And have another roll handy. And don’t use the cheap store brand, get the good stuff. Comfort and strength are equally important in times like these.

Good luck. Don’t puss out. You can do this!
Click to expand...

Cleansing toilet - the only way to fly....

 
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CowboyJD said:
i’m gettin my first old man gets a camera shoved up his bowels test on Friday, so I’m on a clear liquid diet for the next 36 hours.

You should expect my posts to get progressively angrier, more shrill, and more aggressive during that period of time.

Apologies in advance.
Click to expand...

When's the procedure? Mind if I scrub in and "help"?
 
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wyomingosualum said:
I didn’t see a shit detector sensory module. How does it know when it has blasted the last molecule of fecal matter from your rectum? Do you just continue with the anal blasting mode until you think it’s all good?
Click to expand...
I usually just enjoy it until the water gets cool. I nice cursory wipe to make sure and all is good.

Had to have one after my first trip to the mother ship. Every toilet on our new campus has one of these. Trust me, you feel like a dirty heathen in a regular shitter for the rest of your life after you try one of these.
 
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CowboyJD said:
i’m gettin my first old man gets a camera shoved up his bowels test on Friday, so I’m on a clear liquid diet for the next 36 hours.

You should expect my posts to get progressively angrier, more shrill, and more aggressive during that period of time.

Apologies in advance.
Click to expand...
Had my first last August. Was supposed to start at 11, but ended up being closer to 4. He nicked the bowel of the contestant in front of me and had to open her up. (I learned after from my wife who was in the waiting and knew the family). It's rare, so don't dwell on it.
 
Get a real good look at this guy. Remember Cousin Eddie? Now read this is his voice:

2HvGkwT.jpg


Had my first last August. Was supposed to start at 11, but ended up being closer to 4. He nicked the bowel of the contestant in front of me and had to open her up. (I learned after from my wife who was in the waiting and knew the family). It's rare, so don't dwell on it.
 
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Reactions: CBradSmith, Alpha Poke and wyomingosualum
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