A fun little game...

[davidallen]

I have to provide a 200 word bio for an event this fall - I am curious what this might look like if it were to be written based on my personae on this site. So here is your chance, give me a tag line, a sentence or two, or if so inclined a paragraph that you think would represent who you think I am.

 

[anon_xl72qcu5isp39]

Board: Pinot swilling, leftist, globalist, privacy-defeating, statist (I think that's all the usual buzzwords) expat Okie.

I'd go with pinot swilling, centrist, expat, google codin', capitalist, family man.

 

[Alpha Poke]

You should watch Jordan's Hall of Fame speech and Trump tweets for inspiration.

Don't be afraid to point out your greatness.

 

[CSCOTTOSUPOKES]

You should watch Jordan's Hall of Fame speech and Trump tweets for inspiration.

Don't be afraid to point out your greatness.

Yup...just remember to leave out stuff like: “im the least racist person you will ever interview” or “stable genius”, among others...

 

[Alpha Poke]

Yup...just remember to leave out stuff like: “im the least racist person you will ever interview” or “stable genius”, among others...

Bump the turntable.

You're stuck on racist.

 

[CSCOTTOSUPOKES]

Bump the turntable.

You're stuck on racist.

***inspired by trump tweets, correspondingly everything said is complete bullshit***

 

[Alpha Poke]

***inspired by trump tweets, correspondingly everything said is complete bullshit***

You're exactly right.

Is choosing to be a lib like choosing sex.

Is everything lib conferred to me?

Will I be more smarter?

 

[CSCOTTOSUPOKES]

So anyways, David...you’re a self-made family man who’s good at computers. You’ve done a lot all over the world, seen a lot, and done it right. You don’t compromise your ethics and you believe in hard work and sacrifice for a better future. And you love Pinot.

 

[Alpha Poke]

"I'm good at computers."

Like that wasn't already in ink.

 

[long-duc-dong]

I've kicked it around a little and here's what I think...

Your father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. Your mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. Your father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. Your childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring You'd make meat helmets. When you were insolent you were placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve you received your first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved your testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- Everyone should try it.

That's all I got. Feel free to use any of this in your bio.

 

[anon_xl72qcu5isp39]

The probability of Dong coming up with "boulangerie," "buggery," "luge lessons," or ritualstic zoroastrian testicle shaving ("shorn") is about 9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 to 1.

I'm still picking myself of the floor because that was actually entertaining. I'll ferret out who and what he plagiarized that from later.

lament.
malaise.

Nah, not from Dong.

 

[OKSTATE1]

You have the swag of a porn star and the junk to back it up, and you have the love, tenderness, and technical precision of a transgender surgeon about to make that first cut.

 

[Alpha Poke]

You have the swag of a porn star and the junk to back it up, and you have the love, tenderness, and technical precision of a transgender surgeon about to make that first cut.

I bet he no idea he'd get something he could actually use.

 

[Alpha Poke]

The probability of Dong coming up with "boulangerie," "buggery," "luge lessons," or ritualstic zoroastrian testicle shaving ("shorn") is about 9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 to 1.

I'm still picking myself of the floor because that was actually entertaining. I'll ferret out who and what he plagiarized that from later.

lament.
malaise.

Nah, not from Dong.

 

[CowboyJD]

This is what is known in the business as a clue, Sys.

 

[long-duc-dong]

The probability of Dong coming up with "boulangerie," "buggery," "luge lessons," or ritualstic zoroastrian testicle shaving ("shorn") is about 9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 to 1.

I'm still picking myself of the floor because that was actually entertaining. I'll ferret out who and what he plagiarized that from later.

lament.
malaise.

Nah, not from Dong.

Oh ye of little faith.

 

[HighStickHarry]

I’m not participating in this thread.

Early Christmas present.

 

[JimmyBob]

I’m not participating in this thread.

Early Christmas present.

It looks to me as it has a life of its own; hard to top some of the creativity!

 

[davidallen]

Inspiring material ITT. A few tag lines that might make the print version. Or my signature.

 

[DrunkenViking]

I have to provide a 200 word bio for an event this fall - I am curious what this might look like if it were to be written based on my personae on this site. So here is your chance, give me a tag line, a sentence or two, or if so inclined a paragraph that you think would represent who you think I am.

Meh

I like to throw barbs

But I’ve perused the NSB too

Saw the amazing tree house

Saw a great commitment to family in multiple threads

And I like to talk over the top shit but

Family man

As said above

Probably the most important thing you can be in this life

You honestly put the persona of a damned good guy with priorities in line

No barbs here dude

 

[davidallen]

Meh

I like to throw barbs

But I’ve perused the NSB too

Saw the amazing tree house

Saw a great commitment to family in multiple threads

And I like to talk over the top shit but

Family man

As said above

Probably the most important thing you can be in this life

You honestly put the persona of a damned good guy with priorities in line

No barbs here dude

Damn, thank you.

 

[DrunkenViking]

Damn, thank you.

Sincerely dude. I mean it

 

[long-duc-dong]