While I was running errands with my wife yesterday I’m positive I saw a Russian hiding behind a tree outside the mall. And once inside the mall I swear there was a Russian sales lady in the Dillard’s perfume department. And another one lurking in the food court. Is Russia infiltrating our malls? Who should I call to report this new crisis? Patrons of malls in America beware! Be afraid! Be very afraid!
Get a colonoscopy and read.