The Bee is killing it again.

[soonerinlOUisiana]

With Progressive Women Out Protesting For Abortion, Men In Office Finally Get Some Work Done

U.S.—Men across the country are finally able to get some work done at the office this week, as their progressive female co-workers are out protesting for abortion rights.

babylonbee.com

 

[soonerinlOUisiana]

Democrats Argue That Clarence Thomas Should Only Have 3/5 Of A Vote

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats in D.C. have lashed out at Justice Clarence Thomas following his vote to overturn Roe v. Wade, arguing that he should only get 3/5 of a vote in the Supreme Court.

babylonbee.com

 

[soonerinlOUisiana]

Dems Pause January 6 Hearings To Call For Insurrection

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats have temporarily pushed pause on the January 6th hearings in order to lead an insurrection against the federal government.

babylonbee.com

 

[soonerinlOUisiana]

With Progressive Women Out Protesting For Abortion, Men In Office Finally Get Some Work Done

U.S.—Men across the country are finally able to get some work done at the office this week, as their progressive female co-workers are out protesting for abortion rights.

babylonbee.com

@my_2cents , when you get back from your protests, how about making us all some sandwiches.

 

[LAY THE WOODY]

@my_2cents , when you get back from your protests, how about making us all some sandwiches, bitch ass.

Fify. 😁

 

[soonerinlOUisiana]

Reminder: All Women Required To Report To Mike Pence To Receive Standard-Issue Handmaid Outfit By 5 PM Today

PUBLIC NOTICE: All women are required to report to Mike Pence to receive their standard-issue handmaid outfits by 5:00 PM EST today. Any woman who is not in line by 5:00 PM EST will be rounded up by Pence's Soldiers of the Patriarchy and transported to one of the country's 38 Handmaid...

babylonbee.com

 

[soonerinlOUisiana]

Compromise: Texas Says Abortion Can Remain Legal But The Baby Gets An AR-15 To Defend Himself

AUSTIN, TX — In a shocking reversal from long-standing pro-life policies, the Texas legislature has decided that abortion can be legal in their state - as long as the unborn baby is issued an AR-15 to defend himself.

babylonbee.com