Old Friends/Old Relationships

[Breastman]

Just out of curiosity....how often do you speak to or get together with your running buddies from high school and college?

I'm 44 and I only keep in touch with one good friend from hs and we see each other maybe once every 4 months. And I usually initiate that contact. Haven't seen old friends from college in at least a year. Wondering if that's normal. For what's it's worth, I routinely communicate with old girlfriends far more than old buddies.

In contrast, my dad (68) has maintained incredible friendships with old classmates from the '60's. His crew (that are still living) meets for breakfast at least once a week. How is that even possible?

 

[BigBobBarker]

I am 33 and I have no relationship at all with any of my old friends. When we all lived in OKC I reached out many times and they would usually say they would come and then not, or make up a lame excuse. Don't have any friends at all now that don't want me to use their products or send them business.

 

[HighStickHarry]

I'm lucky that my friends are my cousins. We grew up together and are still close. Living back in the town I grew up in I constantly run into people I've known all my life. It has its cons but I moved back to raise my kids in this small town and it was the right decision.

 

[CowboyJD]

52 here. High school buddies...never. College buddies, keep in very close touch on social media with 3. Get together with two of the three around once a year.

 

[Orange Jennyslipper]

...my dad (68) has maintained incredible friendships with old classmates from the '60's. His crew (that are still living) meets for breakfast at least once a week. How is that even possible?

For starters, it helps if you still live in the same town as you did several decades ago. I grew up 400 miles from where I live now and haven't seen anyone from "back home" more than half a dozen times since the early 70s.

There are a few classmates I'd like to run into sometime, but not enough to make me want to go to another high school reunion. I went to my tenth and all the a-holes were still a-holes, but they were even louder and drunker than I remembered them. I wrote 'em off and I don't miss 'em.

I do talk to and see, once in a while, a few college buddies. You obviously have more things in common with them than with the kids you knew in high school -- majors and whatnot. (Is that you, Pat?)

Chatting up old girlfriends would seem a little strained to me. Not knocking it, but at my age, it just seems awkward to start a conversation with, "Hey, wanna git nekkid and drop some acid?"

 

[Marshal Jim Duncan]

I'm 52 also. I have two friends that I have been friends with since the 8th grade that I talk to probably at least once.a week and see at least once a month or maybe every other month. I have a couple of other childhood friends I see occasionally and talk to less often but fairly regularly.

Several more college friends I see fairly regularly.

 

[ThorOdinson13]

I have three friends going back to grade school I still talk to at least once a month. One of them goes back to pre-k. I have absolutely zero from college and lost track of them in the service. From my time in the service I have five I keep in touch with and visit with pretty regularly.

 

[Rulz]

I hang out with the guys in my neighborhood that I met when I moved back here to my hometown (I'll be 43 this year). I keep in touch with a few classmates from high school, but none from college. Honestly, in college I was young and stupid, so the friends I had at that time, although I have no ill will towards them, were based upon who was "fun to go out and drink with and pick up chicks".

I work quite a bit, have elderly parents I have to tend to, and other family matters that garner most of my attention.

There's other reasons I keep to myself. I'm becoming old and cranky, curmudgeonly, hermit like in some ways lol. I had more friends about 5 years ago, but as I get older I limit my contact with people outside my family because it always seemed that other people's problems would somehow become "my problem"....and help I would give was either not appreciated or not reciprocated...so I had to cut some folks loose.

I'm sure that could be taken any number of ways, but I would imagine anyone else in my shoes would feel the same way.

 

[AC_Exotic]

I've kept up with several high school and college buddies. It's harder to do things together, especially because I live in a different part of the country. The other hindrance is we do more things with immediate and extended family as well grow older.

 

[Been Jammin]

I am 50. Starting from earliest to latest...

I still keep in touch with my 2 closest friends from elementary/middle school. One I lost touch with until facebook allowed us to reconnect a few years ago. We managed to get together once since then, but he lives in Mexico, so I'm sure we will see each other rarely (if ever) in the future. I communicate with the other once once or twice a year on our birthdays.

I had a great group of buddies in HS. Some of them I have no contact with anymore. Others, I talk to every so often. Have seen them when visiting OKC in the last couple of years. Makes me sad, as we were really close and they are all great people.

I have a group of close friends that I worked with at summer camp for about 5 years in HS and college. We were all in each others' weddings. I keep in touch with most of them and we manage to see each other at least every other year, even though most of us live in different cities/different states.

What I find really surprising is that I pretty much have no contact with any of my buddies from vet school (one of them I talk to maybe every other year). This is a group of people that was really close and who have a ton in common. Making it through vet school felt like going to war together (I am assuming and probably underestimating the feeling of going to war). Then we graduated and all went our different ways. When I do see or talk to one of them (very rare), they all say the same thing. We have all lost touch with each other. Weird deal.

 

[ThorOdinson13]

There's other reasons I keep to myself. I'm becoming old and cranky, curmudgeonly, hermit like in some ways lol. I had more friends about 5 years ago, but as I get older I limit my contact with people

This is me to a T. I have my circle outside of family and that is it. I find the older I get the less and less I'm interested in going to events or doing anything other than hanging out with the family at the house. Which is something I'm having to fight because that will suck for my kids and they'll resent me for not ever going anywhere.

 

[HighStickHarry]

The people that were really fun when they were drunk in our younger days don't seem so damn funny anymore. A lot of people are on the same plane in hs and college and then their lives become fvcked with drugs and alcohol and divorce over the next few decades. Then when your friends have kids, they usually suck and you don't want your kids around their kids. Don't get me started on my friends and cousins who just bring toxic bitches into the mix and mess up any chemistry you had before. It takes effort, looking the other way on some things and luck to stay close to people.

 

[squeak]

Most of my friends are high school and college buddies. Get together with at least one every week. Tailgate together and take trips. Have an annual camping trip with 15-20.

 

[mseabolt]

Im 51 .. Still get together with several good friends from high school.. golf, music, dinners and even vacation at times. One good friend from college is like my brother but he is about it from college.

 

[PDT816]

The secret to getting the old crew back together on a regular basis is divorce. I'm 50 and see all my fun friends several times a week.

 

[Orange Jennyslipper]

The secret to getting the old crew back together on a regular basis is divorce. I'm 50 and see all my fun friends several times a week.

I bet that's true, but be careful. I have a neighbor in the same boat. His house has turned into party central about four nights a week. 45-65-year-olds with too much time and cheap beer.

 

[JimmyBob]

Heading for Eufaula mid-week for annual get together with roommate from early 70's, two co-workers at DH&S mid/late-70's, and DH&S/client friend of all from same time. We're "mature", it's the damned recovery time that's a bitch.

 

[trapped_in_tx]

I have occasional social media contact with a handful of people from high school. Only regularly talk with one high school buddy who is visiting with his son this weekend and I occasionally see a few people I grew up with when I visit my hometown.

Same basic story for college buddies. Only one that I regularly stay in contact with and one more that I am in contact with other than social media. These three guys were my groomsmen so it's not terribly surprising they are the ones I communicate with.

I know better than to communicate with ex girlfriends. I have more than enough stress and challenges without inviting calamity.

 

[Breastman]

That's interesting stuff about the old girlfriends. I chat and text occasionally with girls I dated 10 to 20 years ago. There is absolutely zero flirtation or sexual innuendos. We just turned into friends.

In fact, I had a near Jerry/Elaine type relationship with an ex for quite a while and we are still good friends. I actually have become pretty good pals with her fiancé. I guess that's bizarre but it works. We've actually double dated.

 

[latimdj]

43, I guess I maybe the exception.... I have zero friends from HS that I keep up with....not even social media.... I have a core group of about 6 or so friends from college that we are very close..... We generally see each other 2-3 times per year and keep up on social media and via text. Obviously there are exceptions.... One of my buddies started a New career and is having parental health issues.... Haven't seen him in over a year, but you have to be understanding that life happens

 

[N. Pappagiorgio]

I don't have any friends.

 

[shortbus]

HS? Not really any at all other than FB.

College? About 25 to 30 friends that I talk to at least once a month. 6 of us on a group text that gets a couple dozen messages a day. Like brothers to me.

I'll be 40 in September.

 

[Rulz]

Some of my exes were great examples of the "crazy-hot" scale lol. And I also know that there are a few of them that are still single, even over 40, still rollin the clubs in OKC and Tulsa and still doing the same crazy ass shit. For them, it's like one big game of musical chairs with dicks, with the music stopping when their looks start to fade I guess lol.

 

[StillyCowboy]

Wish you could be up there too. Sorry for bitching out tonight.
we see each other maybe once every 4 months. And I usually initiate that contact. Haven't seen old friends from college in at least a year. Wondering if that's normal. For what's it's worth, I routinely communicate with old girlfriends far more than old buddies.

In contrast, my dad (68) has maintained incredible friendships with old classmates from the '60's. His crew (that are still living) meets for breakfast at least once a week. How is that even possible?

In contrast, my dad (68) has maintained incredible friendships with old classmates from the '60's. His crew (that are still living) meets for breakfast at least once a week. How is that even possible?

They meet at Stillwater Mazzios for lunch on Friday?

 

[100TonsofOrangeFury]

Some of my exes were great examples of the "crazy-hot" scale lol. And I also know that there are a few of them that are still single, even over 40, still rollin the clubs in OKC and Tulsa and still doing the same crazy ass shit. For them, it's like one big game of musical chairs with dicks, with the music stopping when their looks start to fade I guess lol.

These women have always fascinated, and saddened, me.

There are so many losers with a bit of money that would be glad to take care of them, probably too much dysfunction on both sides to work for very long.

 

[Rdcldad]

These women have always fascinated, and saddened, me.

There are so many losers with a bit of money that would be glad to take care of them, probably too much dysfunction on both sides to work for very long.

Ya think???

 

[JimmyBob]

These women have always fascinated, and saddened, me.

There are so many losers with a bit of money that would be glad to take care of them, probably too much dysfunction on both sides to work for very long.

It's tough to realize that putting the "fun" in dysfunction always has an end.