Not Giving a Flying **** What Other People Think
- Thread starter Bitter Creek
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I've personally witnessed people avoid doing what I perceived to be the "right" thing, due to them putting more weight on what others think.
If you look at the movies, the ability to not give a flying fark about what others think, in order to pursue doing the right and/or honorable thing is looked upon very positively, especially in the western genre - with High Noon being a good example. I also think of "Bad Day at Black Rock" with Spencer Tracy as the guy who puts honor above worrying about what the town people think, even if that means they may kill him. Steve McQueen's character in Wanted Dead or Alive, often did good, but never wanted the general public to know about it.
I've long outlived my concern about what others think, if I know (or believe) that what I am doing is the right thing for me, or the right thing for others, especially friends and family.
Lesson Learned: When I was a junior in high school, I had a very good female friend, who was tall, thin, beautiful, whip smart and who wanted to pursue a more romantic type relationship with me. I didn't go through with it, because she was Korean and a bunch of my buddies were giving me crap about her being Asian. (Racism was certainly more of a "thing" back then.) Came back for my senior year and she had signed a modeling contract with the Ford Agency, was making something like $5,000 a day doing runway work in Dallas, NYC, and L.A (she had banked over $100,000 that summer alone, which would be like $500,00 today) and was dating a 21 yr old player in the Texas Ranger's farm system. When, I finally talked to her about things, she told me that she had known that my friends were telling me not to go out with her and that she felt that if I cared more about what they thought than I cared about her that I was the one not worth dating in the first place! (And you know what? She was 100% right.)
If you look at the movies, the ability to not give a flying fark about what others think, in order to pursue doing the right and/or honorable thing is looked upon very positively, especially in the western genre - with High Noon being a good example. I also think of "Bad Day at Black Rock" with Spencer Tracy as the guy who puts honor above worrying about what the town people think, even if that means they may kill him. Steve McQueen's character in Wanted Dead or Alive, often did good, but never wanted the general public to know about it.
I've long outlived my concern about what others think, if I know (or believe) that what I am doing is the right thing for me, or the right thing for others, especially friends and family.
Lesson Learned: When I was a junior in high school, I had a very good female friend, who was tall, thin, beautiful, whip smart and who wanted to pursue a more romantic type relationship with me. I didn't go through with it, because she was Korean and a bunch of my buddies were giving me crap about her being Asian. (Racism was certainly more of a "thing" back then.) Came back for my senior year and she had signed a modeling contract with the Ford Agency, was making something like $5,000 a day doing runway work in Dallas, NYC, and L.A (she had banked over $100,000 that summer alone, which would be like $500,00 today) and was dating a 21 yr old player in the Texas Ranger's farm system. When, I finally talked to her about things, she told me that she had known that my friends were telling me not to go out with her and that she felt that if I cared more about what they thought than I cared about her that I was the one not worth dating in the first place! (And you know what? She was 100% right.)
Sometimes this comes down to a morality question. For instance, every now and then someone will show up to a place which is patroned primarily by families, kids, etc (say Disneyworld) and they are wearing some Tshirt with expletives, drug references, etc. It would be easy to say that they are are practicing "No F's given" but in reality what they are doing is something that is morally wrong. Another example of someone not going with the No F's given" approach is an old friend who was an ag teacher in a smaller Okla community. The teacher was of legal age yet he would not purchase alcohol from a local convenience store due to the fact that he felt he was impressionable on the kids that he taught. Nothing wrong with him picking up a sixer, saying hi to a student and going home however, he morally thought this was not good for someone else.
Great posts in this thread, it definitely revolves around morals and manners. If you never care what others think in any situation you are probably a rude, classless (Dally's post), selfish, inconsiderate piece of shit and nobody likes you. We live in a world we have to share and the golden rule should be followed, other people's feelings do matter to an extent. My biggest pet peeve in life and really the only one I truly have is people who are unaware of their surroundings. I assume most of those people that are completely inconveniencing others are just assholes that "don't give a ......" about anyone but themselves. How do you not notice that there are 10 people in line behind you when you've asked for your 6th different sample of turkey to be freshly sliced for you at the Kroger deli. F you!
On the other hand, if not caring what others keeps you to being true to yourself and doing what is right then it is definitely admirable.
This post was edited on 2/5 1:41 PM by nathajw
On the other hand, if not caring what others keeps you to being true to yourself and doing what is right then it is definitely admirable.
This post was edited on 2/5 1:41 PM by nathajw
It's not a great way to make friends, but it's a great way to succeed in life.
Look at the sociopaths that run everything.
Look at the sociopaths that run everything.
Alpha Poke,
What you wrote about is what I would call pure selfishness, I think that's a bit different than my perspective from which I wrote about.
The justification for doing what you think is right and not giving an f as to what others may think about it, (IMHO) is all about being on the side of morally right/ethically right - not just using it as a convenient excuse to do things without concern for consequences (to yourself, or others).
I get what your saying however, perhaps this is a situation where it could be viewed as two sides of the same coin? One side where you don't give an F because you believe you're doing the right thing by others and the other side, because you're only concerned about your own selfish interest and don't care what other's think?
What you wrote about is what I would call pure selfishness, I think that's a bit different than my perspective from which I wrote about.
The justification for doing what you think is right and not giving an f as to what others may think about it, (IMHO) is all about being on the side of morally right/ethically right - not just using it as a convenient excuse to do things without concern for consequences (to yourself, or others).
I get what your saying however, perhaps this is a situation where it could be viewed as two sides of the same coin? One side where you don't give an F because you believe you're doing the right thing by others and the other side, because you're only concerned about your own selfish interest and don't care what other's think?
It depends on your agenda.
If you're a good person doing what you believe to be good and right in the face of criticism then absolutely it is.
If you're simply doing what pleases you without regard to right and wrong and without consideratio and your actions may harm another then no, it is not.
Posted from Rivals Mobile
If you're a good person doing what you believe to be good and right in the face of criticism then absolutely it is.
If you're simply doing what pleases you without regard to right and wrong and without consideratio and your actions may harm another then no, it is not.
Posted from Rivals Mobile
Not giving a flying****what other people think is exactly the progressive mind set these days. Seems to be working well for them, politically speaking.
I don't think it is left or right leaning.
Pleanty of right wingers seem to hang on the "over my dead body" line.
Maybe, but to me it's more prevalent on the left. Hell the 24/7 board, as you know, is a prime example. Those yahoos don't give a flying**** what you or I think.
I agree, but I respect people who do that in a manner that gives equal respect to my beliefs (respect being a very key word here).
Groups that I can't stand: (1) Those that take an angry and loud approach but really don't have a clue about what they are talking about and (2) those that are educated on a position but are afraid to speak out.
I liken being content to not giving an F what others think. That belief with a libertarian attitude is the way to enjoy life and limit stress.
Posted from Rivals Mobile
Posted from Rivals Mobile
A$$holishness is not reserved for one particular political schism. Left, Right, Progressive, Conservative, whatever the label...each owns their fair share of d-bags.
This topic to me certainly has two sides of the same coin. I try to live in a manner where I respect others and behave in a manner that would bring credit to those who have raised me to be a gentleman. Respect for others. Always putting others first. Hard to do that when you don't give a f%&k.........By the same token, as others have so eloquently pointed out in this thread, not giving a f%&k can mean not caving in to peer pressure. Taking the "high road" as in I don't give a f what you think....I'm going to do the right thing. And maybe thats the wrong thing for some people. But the right one for you at the time. Nothing is hardly ever black and white to me.........maybe that's why I'm often labeled Progressive by people that don't really know me. lol......sometimes I'm pretty conservative
This topic to me certainly has two sides of the same coin. I try to live in a manner where I respect others and behave in a manner that would bring credit to those who have raised me to be a gentleman. Respect for others. Always putting others first. Hard to do that when you don't give a f%&k.........By the same token, as others have so eloquently pointed out in this thread, not giving a f%&k can mean not caving in to peer pressure. Taking the "high road" as in I don't give a f what you think....I'm going to do the right thing. And maybe thats the wrong thing for some people. But the right one for you at the time. Nothing is hardly ever black and white to me.........maybe that's why I'm often labeled Progressive by people that don't really know me. lol......sometimes I'm pretty conservative
It's neither honorable nor dishonorable. But I do think that combined with decent personal ethics, it's a necessity for someone to be innovative, unique and true to themselves.
I think a lot of artists and business owners share this trait. Anyone who follows a passion needs to be able to not care what at least some people think. But a total disregard for how you are perceived by others is just sociopathic.
Posted from Rivals Mobile
I think a lot of artists and business owners share this trait. Anyone who follows a passion needs to be able to not care what at least some people think. But a total disregard for how you are perceived by others is just sociopathic.
Posted from Rivals Mobile
I have moved away from this mindset. It is best to act in a certain manner in which you don't make people think you are an asshole. The "I just tell it how it is" and "I'm just saying" mentality is tiresome.
It's good to be liked and respected. But it's bad to let your course be governed by the opinions of others.
The key I think is to know what to give a shit about and what not to. I'm definitely a path less traveled kind if guy and I've drawn criticism at times - mostly from dull, boring people and I've never cared.
But I let one client down on a deadline and it will eat me up day and night. The respect of my friends, family and clients is essential to me. But critics? I never lose a second of sleep caring what they think.
The key I think is to know what to give a shit about and what not to. I'm definitely a path less traveled kind if guy and I've drawn criticism at times - mostly from dull, boring people and I've never cared.
But I let one client down on a deadline and it will eat me up day and night. The respect of my friends, family and clients is essential to me. But critics? I never lose a second of sleep caring what they think.
For some reason all I can think of when I read this thread is Chappelle's "When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong".
