Meet Pam Harper, confidant of Kenny Gajewski and ‘favorite aunt’ of Cowgirl softball
Hallie HartOklahoman
Pam Harper wouldn’t let a brief weather delay catch her by surprise at the Women’s College World Series.
When raindrops greeted fans on the event’s opening day Thursday, the Oklahoma State softball alumna and close confidant of OSU coach Kenny Gajewski viewed it as a standard part of the sport in her home state.
“As a team,” Harper said, “you just have to be patient.”
The All-American first baseman knows something about that. In 1982, Harper and the Cowgirls waited through a two-day weather delay before competing in the now-defunct Association of Intercollegiate Athletics for Women’s national tournament in Norman.
After finishing as runners-up, Harper and her teammates boarded a bus to Omaha, Nebraska.
There, they played in a second tournament: the first NCAA-sponsored Women’s College World Series.
The college softball landscape has transformed in numerous ways since Harper suited up for the Cowgirls.
For starters, instead of two national tournaments, there’s only one Women’s College World Series. It has ballooned into Oklahoma’s premier annual sporting event, a massive celebration with a magnetic draw for former softball stars from across the country.
Olympic great Dot Richardson watches from the stands and enjoys snacks. Fellow Olympian and Cowgirl star Michele Smith adds her voice to the broadcast booth.
But you’re likely to find Harper mingling with players’ parents and fans above OSU’s dugout.
After all, she’s part of the family.
“Just consider me the favorite aunt,” Harper said.
The Tulsa resident is quick to clarify her role: she will not interfere with coaching. But Harper stays active in alumni events. She mentors current players. Her perspective enriches Cowgirl softball because she sees how far the NCAA sport has come, and she knows where it can keep going.
In the grand timeline of sports, this rapid ascent is recent.
Only 41 years ago, when Steven Spielberg’s E.T. and Michael Jackson’s Thriller were at the forefront of pop culture, Harper and the Cowgirls were supplying their own gear and washing their own uniforms.
Her senior season, 1982, was the first year of the NCAA-sponsored WCWS. Her freshman season was the first year for softball to even be an officially sanctioned program at OSU instead of a club sport.
The passage of Title IX in 1972 wasn’t a magic fix for gender inequalities in sports, but it paved the way for the scenes Harper and her teammates see at the World Series today.
“We look at this event and how big it has grown, and it makes us very proud, very honestly,” Harper said. “... We’re proud of how the sport has grown. We do want to be remembered. We do want the roots to be remembered.”
That’s why, soon after Gajewski was hired to take over a Cowgirl team that had experienced a stretch of tough seasons, a passionate former athlete reached out to him.
“Hey, my name’s Pam Harper, and I’m an alum of the program,” she told him in 2016.
“I know who you are,” Gajewski replied.
Harper said she thought it was just a cordial line at the time, but when they met for breakfast at Karsten Creek, she realized just how serious he was about embracing OSU’s softball trailblazers, referring to Cowgirl Stadium as Harper’s “house.”
A friendship was born.
“We’ve laughed together, and we’ve cried together,” Harper said. “We’ve run ideas by each other.”
And she doesn’t pretend to be someone she’s not. After the Cowgirls fell to Florida State in the first round of the World Series, Gajewski wasn’t about to hear Harper in his ear saying what he should’ve done differently. She let his process unfold, and it did – the Cowgirls bounced back with a Friday win over Utah.
“I’ve never coached,” Harper said. “I’ve played, and of course I have opinions, but I am not in that dugout anymore.”
While she won’t charade as a member of Gajewski’s staff, Harper provides plenty of behind-the-scenes support.
This year, Harper and OSU softball director of operations Stacie Pestrak created Cowgirl Career Day, an opportunity for softball players to link with professionals in their areas of interest.
Chyenne Factor, who plans to be a nurse, met Cowgirl softball alumna Heather Spears, an ICU nurse in Tulsa. Taylor Tuck connected with a speech pathologist. All of the Cowgirl participants learned about personal finance from former player Jessi Haffner – who works at Morgan Stanley – and USA Softball CFO Cheryl Bond.
Harper and her wife, Stephanie, hosted the whole event at their Tulsa home, welcoming the professionals alongside the juniors and seniors on OSU’s team.
Harper’s network extends to ESPN commentator Michele Smith, who was a college athlete when they met.
“She'll keep me updated on what alumni are doing,” Smith told The Oklahoman. “I can't participate in a lot of stuff, because it's during my season. But I love that Kenny has done a good job of re-engaging the alumni. If you look at any strong team throughout the country, they always have a really good alumni base.
“You have to get them included and proud of the program. I'm glad that Pam Harper is doing that and the alumni are back engaged with Cowgirl softball.”
Harper isn’t alone. She belongs to a group chat with 14 former Cowgirls who discuss not only OSU, but also softball as a whole, exchanging messages Saturday during OU’s run-rule win over Tennessee.
After playing during a time when coaches drove team buses and sometimes only 40 fans showed up to home games, Harper and her teammates are grateful to see the lines of avid supporters snaking outside USA Hall of Fame Stadium’s entrances. The fickle Oklahoma weather might be one of the only elements of the World Series that has remained the same, and Harper embraces the changes.
Wherever Cowgirl softball goes next, she’s along for the ride, planning to return to Oklahoma City for OSU’s Sunday game against Tennessee.
“We are here to support, to be a positive influence,” Harper said. “To show them that there is life after softball, and really to show them that you have a network of hundreds of Cowgirl alumni that are here to help you through anything you need some help through.”
