They gave me something to take before I came to the office to make me woozy by knife time. I promptly threw it up. Doc said "No big deal."
He gave me a bunch of locals. Nothing went numb. Gave me more. Still nothing. After the third round, he asked the nurse to hand him the vial she was drawing the local from. It was saline solution. She turned red, left the room. Never saw her again.
Just to show I had no hard feelings, I told the joke about the guy trapped in a burning car wreck. EMT's told him they needed to cut off his foot to free him from the wreckage or he'd burn alive, but they didn't have any pain killers.
"Aw, just cut it off," the guy says. "I've experienced the worst pain in the world, you can't hurt me." They cut the foot off. Guy never even grimaces. On the way to the ER, they guy is talking about the weather as though nothing had happened. EMT's finally asked what pain he had experienced that allowed him to be so nonchalant about his injuries, especially the cutting off of his foot.
"Oh, I went bear hunting with my brother-in-law once, and just about sunup I needed to go to the bathroom. I squatted behind a tree and a bear trap snapped on my scrotum."
"OMFG!!" The EMT's were beside themselves just thinking about the pain.
"Nah!," the guy says. "THAT wasn't the worst pain in the world."
"Holy shit!" the EMT's exclaimed. "What could possibly be worse than THAT??"
"When I got to the end of the chain."
The guy holding my scrotum and all the possible future little AB Jrs. in his hands never even cracked a smile. That's when I lost all confidence in him. As I left, though, he reminded me that he had told me what to do to keep myself from swelling up like two purple footballs.
That was on a Friday. I went back to school Monday. No problems.
