A man take s the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second-hoIe, when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of' t and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears, "Ribbit 9
Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh? The frog replies, "Ribbit lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. 'Ribbit 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one.
The man i befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "Okay, where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "Okay frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom! tons of cash comes sliding "back"across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it .
With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl. "And that your honor , is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."
______________________________________________________________________________
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A NATIVE OF OKLAHOMA IF:
Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off.
You've ever used lard in bed.
You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeurve. _
There is a stuffed possum mounted anywhere in your home.
You consider a six-pack of beer and a bug-zapper quality entertainment.
Less than half the cars you own, run.
Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State patrolman to "kiss her ass".
The primary color of your car is "Bondo",
Direction to your he use includes 'turn off the paved road"
You honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures
Your family tree does not fork. \
Your wife's hairdo has never been ruined by a ceiling fan .
You've ever hollered, "Rock the house, Bubba" during a piano recital.
Your mother has ever been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill. .
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas Lights.
Your brother-in-law s also your uncle.
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey & the Bandit' was snubbed as the best picture.
The rear tires on you car are twice as wide as the front ones.
You Prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
You've ever worn a sleeveless t-shirt to a wedding.
The Most common phrase you hear at your family reunion is "What are you lookin' at, Shithead
You think beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You think Campho-phenique is a miracle drug.
You had a toothpick' n your mouth when your wedding pictures were made.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Your father encouraged you to quit school because Larry had an opening at the lube rack.
You've never been to drunk to fish.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You think "Volvo" is part of a woman's anatomy.
You think Styrofoam coolers are the greatest invention of all time.
Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup.
He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh? The frog replies, "Ribbit lucky frog." The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. 'Ribbit 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one.
The man i befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "Okay, where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "Okay frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck. Boom! tons of cash comes sliding "back"across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it .
With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl. "And that your honor , is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."
______________________________________________________________________________
YOU KNOW YOU'RE A NATIVE OF OKLAHOMA IF:
Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off.
You've ever used lard in bed.
You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeurve. _
There is a stuffed possum mounted anywhere in your home.
You consider a six-pack of beer and a bug-zapper quality entertainment.
Less than half the cars you own, run.
Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State patrolman to "kiss her ass".
The primary color of your car is "Bondo",
Direction to your he use includes 'turn off the paved road"
You honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures
Your family tree does not fork. \
Your wife's hairdo has never been ruined by a ceiling fan .
You've ever hollered, "Rock the house, Bubba" during a piano recital.
Your mother has ever been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.
You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill. .
The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas Lights.
Your brother-in-law s also your uncle.
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey & the Bandit' was snubbed as the best picture.
The rear tires on you car are twice as wide as the front ones.
You Prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
You've ever worn a sleeveless t-shirt to a wedding.
The Most common phrase you hear at your family reunion is "What are you lookin' at, Shithead
You think beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
You think Campho-phenique is a miracle drug.
You had a toothpick' n your mouth when your wedding pictures were made.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
Your father encouraged you to quit school because Larry had an opening at the lube rack.
You've never been to drunk to fish.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You think "Volvo" is part of a woman's anatomy.
You think Styrofoam coolers are the greatest invention of all time.
