Do kids still fight?

[100TonsofOrangeFury]

I don't mean brothers and sisters, I mean kids at school.

In full disclosure, I raise my kids in an upper middle class DFW suburb, and they've been lectured about bullying since kindergarten. But I swear, I think only one of them has seen even one fight since they started grade school. This boggles my mind.

There were a couple of good recess or after school fights a month growing up in 70's/80's Oklahoma. Plenty of hardscrabble angry kids that probably got picked on at home and/or had dads who either encouraged it or were indifferent to it. Hell, I was a jocky honor student and I'd had three or four full knuckle brawls by the time I'd graduated high school.

Have the times changed this much? Do fists not do any talking any more? Are kids that much more capable of resolving conflicts in other ways?

My theory: my kids school district is limited in the type of kids that are prone to fighting and thus they haven't witnessed many. Hopefully it's a sign of societal progress, I'm just not sure my sample size is real.

 

[shortbus]

No because they expell them completely apparently. Hell at Deer Creek having tobacco in your vehicle is grounds for expulsion. It's the craziest thing.
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[TPOKE]

There were quite a few fights where I grew up. Seemed like the thing to do. Funny thing is, there were at least 20 trucks in the high school parking lot, or at parties, with rifles and shotguns hanging in the back window owned by hunters and goat ropers. I never once saw one taken out of its rack in the heat of anger. Skoal or Copenhagen , on the other hand, can cause serious inflammation if it comes into contact with the eye.

It seems there is a lot more bullying nowadays than in the 70's-80's when I was in junior high and high school. Back then bullying was really wasn't allowed by some sort of secret code and enforced by the tough guys. A bully was somewhat ostracized and a puss by standards. Today, I think the term "bully" is over used and applied to regular fights where someone might need a butt kicking. Hell, my wife teaches first grade and some kids have told their parents my wife is bullying them when she tells them "no".
This post was edited on 1/16 5:53 PM by TPOKE

 

[ctdub]

interesting question. I never really thought of this. I remember a ton of fights in elementary and middle school. Was involved in a handful myself. Definitely seems like different times. Not sure if that's for better or worse. Maybe we are raising a bunch of pacifists.
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[Poketologist]

My son was being bullied a couple of years ago in 4th grade. We knew about it and had spoken to the principal about it. Basically we told our son that it was OK with us if he defended himself.

Long story short - that kid did it one too many times and my son sent him to the ground with one punch, nose bloodied and crying.

Got him sent to the principal's office for the rest of the day (standard procedure for kids who fight).

The principal called me and let me know what happened. I told her that I would handle his punishment.

So I picked him up early from school and took him out for ice cream.

 

[EvilPOKES]

My high school, for tax purposes, bused a bunch of the kids from the inner city areas of Little Rock. Majority of them were from really rough neighborhoods, yeah you don't think of rough when you think Little Rock, but they exist, and they were involved in gang stuff. Tons of fights weekly. Brawls with 6+ kids, guys and girls.
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[hollywood]

I think I was involved in about half a dozen before grade 9, none after. It seemed commonplace back in the 60's & 70's for kids younger than 13/14 to solve their own differences by resorting to fisticuffs, after school on some mutually agreed upon location.

I don't think any serious injuries ever resulted, except for a bloody nose here or there. I can remember some of our coaches and gym teachers, if they knew two evenly matched guys had it out for each other, to take them down to the wrestling room, hand them some boxing gloves and go at it. In reality, that was actually a decent solution in that it was a controlled environment and the two often came out shaking hands and getting it out of their systems. Today, that coach/gym teacher would be shown the unemployment line.

I still get emails from one guy who was a bit bigger and tougher than me in grade school who I used to get into it with from time to time. By high school we were pretty good friends and have stayed in touch all of these years.

 

[foo98]

It's interesting you bring this up, I happened to be talking to a coworker about this and bullying yesterday. I have three kids in school and don't hear of any fights. I think we have progressed as a society some, but I don't remember anyone coming to schools with a gun and killing a bunch of people when I was growing up either.

I think as kids are younger a few fights under the right circumstances here and there are ok. I can remember a couple of fights where a bully got his arse kicked by an unlikely person that had had enough. The best of those fights left a class ring shaped bruise under the bully's eye for a while as a reminder. Both fights were the talk of school and I think served as powerful messages to all bullies at school.

I tell my kids to tell their teacher if someone is giving them a hard time and try not to let words bother you. If that person ever lays a hand on them, that's a game-changer... warn the bully once and if it happens again hit him hard in the face. You may end up getting your butt kicked but more than likely the bully won't mess with you anymore if you get one good punch in. Those instructions are probably redneck or bad parenting or whatever, but oh well.

 

[anon_ph7vrsh7abnty]

I grew up in Lawton.

My input is invalid.
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[ctdub]

Not saying there wasn't bullying when I was in school, but I don't think any of the fights came from kids making fun of each other. They were all from football or basketball games at recess getting rough. Sometimes kids would get upset when they lost and argue on the way back to class. Then they would "call out" the other kid and they'd meet on the field after school to duke it out. The teachers would know something was up when the 3:30 bell sounded and everyone in the school ran to the field instead of the bus lines.

Bullying seems more like a result of Internet and social media. I know there were groups that teased and made fun of people, but I don't think it was near as bad as stuff today.
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[anon_ph7vrsh7abnty]

People were brutally teased and bullied when I grew up. There was no social media.

I was fortunate not to have a very noticeable disability or deformity. I was also lucky to be a starter in every sport I played and having a huge father that all the kids knew.

Because everyone that didn't have these advantages had a fair chance at getting kicked into a fetal ball on the playground at some point.
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[dtspoke]

Little Rock can be scary bad.

Only one of two times in my life I had to draw a firearm in self defense.

Thank goodness cops got there in under five because I was seriously out gunned by four teen gangsters.

Wrong part of town helping a guy out with his car.
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[MegaPoke]

Bullying today is often anonymous and electronic. Technology has empowered a whole new class of bully who can't physically intimidate anyone but can literally inflict PTSD on a kid.
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[TheRedSon]

I break up a fight at the school I work in on a monthly basis. I'm not sure the school your kids go to is a fair representation.

 

[BIGOSUFAN]

Seeing how feminized and metrosexual the majority of young males have become I seriously doubt fighting is common anymore.

 

[Been Jammin]

My daughter is in 10th grade. We are in the Plano (Texas) school district). Her school is limited to 9th and 10th grade. Over the last 2 years, she has shown me video of 3 fights that she witnessed in the hallway. All 3 of them were 2 girls who were rumored to be fighting over a boy. In all 3, I was very surprised to see punches being thrown, attempts to pull out each others hair (with some success) and ramming each other into lockers/slamming each other down to the floor. These were not the cat fights that occurred when I was in high school, but some of the most violent fights I have seen. My daughter says she has not seen, or heard of anything similar happening between 2 guys.

Oh....I will probably be accused of being racist, but all 3 fights involved 2 girls of African-American descent.

 

[GratefulDave]

Originally posted by shortbus:
No because they expell them completely apparently. Hell at Deer Creek having tobacco in your vehicle is grounds for expulsion. It's the craziest thing.
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Edmond school district suspends you for the rest of the semester if you throw one punch...my son goes to Cheyenne middle school and they have cameras situated all over the school so they never depend on heresay to determine who did what.

i remember the days of a 3 day vacation/suspension for fighting. Only got one of those, but was involved in a few off school campus fights. Last one I was in was junior year at OSU...behind Coney Island.

 

[nathajw]

Last one I was in was junior year at OSU...behind Coney Island.
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Ha, my last one wasn't far from yours. Roommate and I got in a 2 vs. 2 squabble behind the flower shop in their back parking lot on the Strip and 4th right across the right side of Willie's the night before graduation. He walked across the stage with a black eye and I had a pretty swollen lip.
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[Been Jammin]

Originally posted by nathajw:
Last one I was in was junior year at OSU...behind Coney Island.
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Ha, my last one wasn't far from yours. Roommate and I got in a 2 vs. 2 squabble behind the flower shop in their back parking lot on the Strip and 4th right across the right side of Willie's the night before graduation. He walked across the stage with a black eye and I had a pretty swollen lip.
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You forgot to finish with

,,,,,but you should have seen the other guys.

 

[Bitter Creek]

Originally posted by BIGOSUFAN:
Seeing how feminized and metrosexual the majority of young males have become I seriously doubt fighting is common anymore.

Yep.

Anything resembling the nature of the historic male is now illigal, imoral and in need of squelching.