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Top ten reasons farm trucks....

TexasCowPoke

Heisman Winner
Gold Member
Oct 22, 2003
12,346
4,173
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Small ranch North of Denton, TX
Just because it's slow around here!

Top 10 Reasons Farm Trucks are Never Stolen

10. They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of gas.

9. Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.
8. It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains, buckets, boots, and loose papers in the cab.

7. It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted out floor-board clouds your vision.
6. The Border Collie on the tool-box looks mean.
5. They are too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver's door is red, the passenger side is green, the front fender is yellow...
4. The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you're being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren't cracked and covered with duct tape.
3. The top speed is only about 45 miles per hour.
2. Who wants a truck that needs a years worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in body work, a tailgate, and a windshield?
1. It's hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.
 
That's what i was thinking. I guess the younger gen. don't have many of those experiences, but when I was in h.s. the only job around was workin on the ranch/farm and did a lot of time on a tractor. Back and forth was in trucks just like those described here. They were junk on one hand, ridden hard and put away wet. But I sure learned to drive by the time I was 10 in one and have a lot of fond memories of them.
 
We just got rid of one that fit that description to a T. The only good things about it was it NEVER failed to start and the four wheel drive worked good. What else does a guy need huh?
 
Originally posted by TexasCowPoke:
That's what i was thinking. I guess the younger gen. don't have many of those experiences, but when I was in h.s. the only job around was workin on the ranch/farm and did a lot of time on a tractor. Back and forth was in trucks just like those described here. They were junk on one hand, ridden hard and put away wet. But I sure learned to drive by the time I was 10 in one and have a lot of fond memories of them.

Heck, I've got a feed truck that makes this description sound like a brand new rig. The only thing that works right is the motor. And that isn't a gurantee.
 
In 1965, very wealthy rancher/oilman in Texas, talking to a poor, naive farmer in Oklahoma whom he'd just met, said "My spread? Well let me just say this....it takes me all day to drive from one end of mye ranch to the other."
The poor farmer nodded sympathetically and said, "Yes Sir,... I've got a truck like that, too."
 
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