Star Wars - Episode IX [December 20]
- Thread starter tlwwake
- Start date
I am hardly a nerd about Star Wars. Just a 45 year old guy that enjoyed the original trilogy as a young boy, and was lucky enough to watch Harrison Ford kick ass in his prime in both Star Wars and Indiana Jones.
Ya know, back when real men played lead roles and got the girl? When villains actually were mean neck snapping, sword wielding, sometimes German speaking bastards that actually scared the shit out of you? Not pansy ass tortured souls with effeminate tendencies, fruits and nuts writing scripts....oh whatever. Why don’t they just go ahead and cast Shi’a Lebouf in some shitty half ass comedic role? Bring him back as Jar Jars cousin, Jaw Jaw Boof. He can be all slapsticky and slap one of those belching CGI mogwai looking fu^%in things, swing around some trees, or hilariously try and seduce some unbelievably attractive hottie with the irony he’s nothing but a choad lookin f^#}k. Oh, the possibilities!
I’m all good on movies. Can watch the old shit and wear it all out like a worn out banjo. I have a buddy that is a HUGE star wars geek. He’s happy experiencing this new stuff, so if some folks get their jollies off all this then so be it.
I still think Lucas was kidnapped in 1987 and replaced with a Life Model Decoy sans gonads.
Ya know, back when real men played lead roles and got the girl? When villains actually were mean neck snapping, sword wielding, sometimes German speaking bastards that actually scared the shit out of you? Not pansy ass tortured souls with effeminate tendencies, fruits and nuts writing scripts....oh whatever. Why don’t they just go ahead and cast Shi’a Lebouf in some shitty half ass comedic role? Bring him back as Jar Jars cousin, Jaw Jaw Boof. He can be all slapsticky and slap one of those belching CGI mogwai looking fu^%in things, swing around some trees, or hilariously try and seduce some unbelievably attractive hottie with the irony he’s nothing but a choad lookin f^#}k. Oh, the possibilities!
I’m all good on movies. Can watch the old shit and wear it all out like a worn out banjo. I have a buddy that is a HUGE star wars geek. He’s happy experiencing this new stuff, so if some folks get their jollies off all this then so be it.
I still think Lucas was kidnapped in 1987 and replaced with a Life Model Decoy sans gonads.
This, this is high art. I mean smoke’em if you got’em. Now do 80’s horror.
Maybe Finn and Poe went to Wakanda to recruit a new Resistance after lazy, ass-clown no-talent writers/Director axed it to bits.
Seems to be a tried and true theme. Need to hide a dangerous 100 year old buddy with one arm? WAKANDA. Need to fix some otherwise incurable disease? WAKANDA. Need to save the universe from half extinction from a powerful god like butthole? WAKANDA. Need more material for the shield of Captain America? Get the best tech? Find a rival in richness to Tony Stark? Get a stealth plane capable of finding Tony Stark in the middle of holy-crap-that’s-a-secret-water-prison? WAKANDA, WAKANDA, WAKANDA....
Aside from that, with the way both franchises are written lately, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit to find Luke, alive, with his own appendages and in full force mode with a lightsaber that spits fire and farts poison gas...all down in that hidden and apparently idyllic land of....WAAAAKKKKAAAANNNNDAAAA.
WAKANDA. Sounds like what I did when I laughed thinking about spending anymore WAUMPAUM on movies containing loads of WAKANDA.
The more I think about it, the more I really, really hate what they did with the opportunity to finish VII, VIII, and IX in style.
What those ass clowns did to the Luke character was unforgivable.
What those ass clowns did to the Luke character was unforgivable.
Yup. Han too. A shame that CF died. All in all, the whole situation went from great (original trilogy) to disaster (prequel trilogy) to a big bunch of meh.
We are watching the original trilogy in my film studies class. Kids freaked out today when it was revealed Luke & Leia are twins. “Wait, wtf, but they made out!! Is this Alabama?!” The other 2 instructors are watching all 8 episodes plus 2 of the others. My group is spinning off into a “film franchises” unit, starting with Back to the Future, after Episode VI. It has been a trying 3 weeks.
